When you go to someones house for the first time and you sit there like
You’re not that scary.
Well, here’s a picture of your grandma’s feet!
Oh, darn it!
you know you’ve seen that show too many times when you read all that in their voices.
This deadass the funniest tweet ever.
"She’s really pretty for a black girl"
“He’s really cool for a gay guy”
“She’s doing really well for a woman”
My dash did a thing.
"I am the beautiest lady in all of the Spain"
if ur sad do not fear friend i am sending puppies to help u
im such a fuckign jealous asshole i pretend like i dont care but i care so much im gonna explode
how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”
there is nothing rarer and more beautiful than liking every song on an album
“Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess…and a criminal…Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours, t h e B r e a k f a s t C l u b.”